He told me he just couldn’t let me go for anything and he really, really loved me. I was shocked to my feet why any sane person would say he loved me just like that –worse off, in the midst of my mid-teenage-life-crisis. This was honestly the last thing on my mind. I felt that was awkward. He must have been crazy of some sort but that isn’t even where the fun began!...
He always walked with me everywhere I went either to grab something to eat or to even look for another guy. You name it. And whenever I went somewhere that he couldn’t get through to, he’ll just keep a close watch on me. I called him a crazy stalker. I would never have even told my friends about him but he was around me, everywhere. And so they eventually found out. They asked me about him each time and I kept saying, “He’s just some person I met some time ago” always trying to avoid the question.
I thought eventually that this was getting too close for comfort and he was making me uncomfortable. How could he be trailing me like this?! I had to find the courage even from the last pint of my blood to tell him to stay away! I tried but I just always had this horrible feeling that I was going to hurt his feeling. So weeks passed and I said nothing to him about this. I honestly have no reason why I was being sentimental. I honestly had none.
He’d give me gifts and send me pretty long letters- ALL TYPED IN SIZE 8 FONTS! I knew then and there that he was out of his mind! Why would he type them and go through the stress of printing them? You might be thinking that he must have been such a coward. And he definitely must have had a lot of time on his hands. I thought that he needed to get a life! Each morning he saw me, he asked what I thought about the letter sent to me the previous day. I go “yhu sae what?!”- In my head though. But it’s like he knew me so much that always knew whenever I honestly tried but stopped at the third line. “Could he read my mind,” I thought.
I couldn’t keep living my life like this! He took all the classes I took...you may be thinking classic pervert. But I was just speechless. My thoughts froze. How could I then have even said a word? He was probably just after my life and maybe he’ll take it the moment I spoke my mind to him. This thought now made me scared about all I was doing. I now started reading the letters at least so he’ll have a reason to spare my life. Day 1 came and I slept off after the first I think ten or twelve lines. Day 2 came and all the activities I engaged in just didn’t help. So I just went to bed.
When the letters grew to the size of a big book, I finally found the guts. It was taking up space on my table. I said something. He told me then that he couldn’t force me to do anything. By now I was surer than the sun that he was obviously after my life!
One of the notes that he sent through his friend, John read and I quote, “You may ask me for anything in my name and I will do it.” (John 1414). Also He told me through the letter that He sent through Isaiah, “For your sake, I will not keep silent...I will not remain quiet, till your righteousness shines out like the dawn, your salvation like a blazing torch” (Isaiah 621). Another said “Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit, I will lift up; and every branch that bears fruit I prune, that it may bear more fruit” (John 152). Yet another that shocked me was that He was here with me yet He said “Behold, I am coming soon! Blessed is the who keeps the words of the prophecy in This Book...My Reward is with Me, and I will give to everyone according to what he has done” (Revelations (227+12). But he then told me, “Mind you sweetheart, it’s not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit” (Zechariah 46).
He told me that I could do nothing on my own and that was why he was always beside me helping me and making all things- even my mistakes- work out for my good. I stood speechless. He told me that trying on my own to read those letters would be like reading chemistry in kindergarten. He was driving home a point.
He told me the secret to reading those long letters. He said I had to love him. “But loving You on my own isn’t at all easy”, I said, because I had so many things running through my mind and going on in my life. Then he asked me a sincere question, “Sweetheart?” ,and I said “yeah?”, “Do you make out time to eat every day?” Of course I did! So I just nodded. He then said, “Then, it shouldn’t be a big deal to make out time for me. Moreover your spirit will starve to death eventually if you didn’t!” He went further to say, “if you read my word out of fear of what might happen if you didn’t, then you wouldn’t be made perfect in love- in my love. And good things happen to those who know the love that God has for them.” He told me that all I needed to do was to believe right and it would help me do right and that his grace is sufficient for me. This was the most soothing thing I had heard in a long time. Suffice to say He told me that faith was nothing more than seeing Jesus. And I remembered Jesus. And then He said..."I am He."
Would I have poured perfume on His feet if I had Known? He knew what I was thinking and He said "You can only be righteous and obedient by faith. Even when you blow it, which you definitely will. Just remind yourself that you are the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus. And the more you say that, the more it gets into your subconscious ad you'll effortlessly live a holy life- but only in me." I was speechless because I had never heard a thing like it in my life! He then broke the silence and said, "Would you like me to take You shopping because I give you so many things even when you don't ask?" ...What else would have been my answer? Of course I said YES! He could have my life over and over if all I needed to do was to talk and boast to everyone about how much he loved me, without me even having to do anything to get it...plus I could explore the world and shop in its most expensive stores!
What more could a girl ask for :D
